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Swift: Pinterest 1 percent perspiration, 99 percent aspiration

Published 11/02/2013, INFORUM

I awoke to find myself with a loaded hot glue gun in my hand. My face was covered with mango-flavored fondant. A single pipe cleaner was glued to my forehead. I reached into my pockets. They were filled with glitter. Most disturbingly, my breath reeked of cinnamon potpourri – and shame.

Word count: 509

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