Bob Lind, Published October 14 2013
Neighbors: Celebrating the benefits of being 90 years old
Larry, formerly of Hillsboro, N.D., and now of Westport, Conn., sends in these pluses on reaching that age:
“You can wear red pants, hats, caps and socks.
“You will not be drafted.
“If they won’t come and fix your furnace, you can play the ‘age card’ and say, ‘I am 90 years old; my family is freezing. Get over here quick.’
“If somebody offers you a seat on the train, take it!
“If you wobble a little when walking, say your shoes hurt.
“If you forget a person’s name, say simply, ‘Greetings, my friend.’
“If you are asked how old you are, answer, ‘I don’t remember.’
“You may let young women help you across the street.
“You can put in your hearing aids and your teeth when nobody is watching.
“If offered warm milk and crackers, say, ‘No, thanks, I’m driving.’ ’’
And while Larry says it costs less to live when you reach 90, he has some advice: “Don’t try to save money by buying a used pacemaker.”
“Young folks will not understand these comments,” Larry concludes, “but some of your older readers may enjoy them.”
If you have an item of interest for this column, mail it to Neighbors,
The Forum, Box 2020, Fargo, ND 58107; fax it to (701) 241-5487; or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org