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David L. Brunsvold II, Moorhead, Published June 04 2013

Letter: ‘Selfish love’ letter stirs anger because of false assumptions

I read (with a lot of sadness) Ken Sims’ May 30 letter regarding the definition of marriage as it relates to homosexuals as selfish. Specifically because it placed values taught to children as secondary.

It makes me angry, so very angry that a person could believe this, and even angrier knowing that others share his opinion.

In his letter, Sims simplified the nuclear household to that of a mother and father – each teaching their children their respective values equal to their gender. I have to ask what type of world Sims believes in where these types of households are the staple and the norm? He points out that he recognizes that many children grow up in a household with only one parent, but then doesn’t explain how in that scenario a child learns values associated with gender roles – it’s just “OK” because he doesn’t have an explanation?

Homosexual marriage is just “different” and we need to trust his obvious expertise and judgment? What does a child with two parents learn from an abusive marriage? Sims seems to think an abusive heterosexual marriage teaches better values than a healthy homosexual marriage. Why? Sims’ lack of logic astounds me.

Additionally, I would question if Sims has homosexual friends or relatives, and if so, are any of them raising children? I do. I’m privileged to be a part of a family who has learned to accept individuals, regardless of their sexual preference, as valuable human beings. I have witnessed a child grow up through his adolescence and into adulthood in a homosexual household – he’s a good kid. Last I heard, he was going to school to be a doctor – pretty cool.

A person’s values aren’t determined by the gender of people to whom they are attracted – it’s so much deeper than that. A heterosexual marriage doesn’t guarantee positive teaching and values and, honestly, neither does a homosexual one. How can it be that simple?

Can true love ever really be selfish? I don’t think so. I know my opinion won’t change the opinions of those who read Sims’ letter and applauded. I can only hope those who read this letter applaud louder.