Lisa Rinehart, West Fargo, Published May 11 2013
Letter: Today, please remember our ‘other’ mothersFor some women, Mother’s Day is not a happy day. I’m referring to the women who cannot have children and will never have the opportunity to be a mom.
Many people ask, “Why not adopt?” Great idea if you can afford it. Why not in vitro fertilization? Great idea if your doctor doesn’t say, “I’m not sure why you are even here. The fertility doctor won’t even see you based on these test results.”
Many women have the unpleasant experience of what I refer to as the “decade questions.” In your 20s – how many children are you planning to have? In your 30s – are you going to have children? Late 30s early 40s – are you trying to have a baby? After this, the question is, “Do you regret not having children?”
All through the childless timeline, there is always someone telling you, “You know, there is more than one way to be a mother. …” Despite their empathy, these people cannot understand my perspective.
Many grew up without a mother or have had some other woman fill that void. Perhaps it was a grandmother, an aunt, a teacher, a friend’s mom, or a family friend. As Mother’s Day gifts, cards and brunches are the focus this weekend, take time to remember and acknowledge the “other mother(s)” in your life.