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Alan Davis, Moorhead, Published April 02 2013

Letter: North Dakota turns itself into one of the strangest zoos in US

For many real conservatives like me who live (fortunately) in Minnesota and not in North Dakota, a state whose legislators and governor have voted in favor of telling women that they should be treated like livestock, we think of a big zoo. The wild animals there would like to eat the spectators (North Dakota women) outside the cages if somebody unlocked those cages so that these animals, who operate on ideology and instinct and have no intellectual capacity whatsoever, could have their way and satisfy their brutal appetites.

These laws against women are clearly a form of hate speech that the North Dakota Legislature is promoting with financial support from out-of-state organizations that want to take away a woman’s constitutional rights to privacy and freedom. Most of us expect more from those we elect to serve us. It would be good if North Dakota legislators who voted against women could buy a ticket (one-way) to North Korea and join the totalitarian buffoons in Pyongyang who brutalize their citizens. They would feel at home there. North Koreans, I’m told, are so beaten down by their leaders that they’ll agree to any idiocy that’s presented to them.

Many North Dakotans, of course, come from different stock, and it’s already clear that the politicians who despise women won’t get their way. The state will spend a small fortune defending the indefensible. These proposed laws designed to punish women who assert their independence and right to privacy are unconstitutional. (North Dakota, remember, is a state with a huge oil surplus whose politicians have already voted to deny milk in school to its poor children and will soon vote to give tax breaks to oil billionaires, so its Legislature has already documented its moral and ethical bankruptcy.)

Fortunately, the border between states is porous, and many of us in Minnesota are pleased to offer sanctuary to North Dakotans under attack. North Dakotan women won’t be treated like livestock in Minnesota. As a true conservative, I guarantee it.

As for the North Dakota legislators who have made local laughingstocks of themselves and embarrassed all of us who live in the Upper Midwest, I’m happy to say that they live in cages of their own making. It’s almost comic to see them stewing in their own juices, their faces full of righteous rage like emperors who forget to wear any clothing while they rattle the bars and wonder why they spend their lives in prison while the rest of us are enjoying our freedom and even having some fun. Living well, after all, is the best revenge.

Thanks to the Constitution of the United States, women have a right to privacy and an absolute right to make their own decisions, and real conservatives like me will stand with them on the front lines of freedom.