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Tracy Frank, Published June 21 2012

Five Things Friday: 5 tips for baby boomers to get back in the dating game

Editor’s note: “5 Things Friday” is a weekly feature in SheSays that will run on – you guessed it – Fridays. It will focus on quick tips, ideas, activities and more – all in bunches of five. If you have a “5 Things Friday” suggestion, contact us at shesays@forumcomm.com.

FARGO – Dating can be tricky at any age.

But baby boomers looking for a second chance at love are finding that things have changed a lot since they first started dating and the rules of the game are constantly being reinvented, according to AARP’s sex and relationship expert, Pepper Schwartz.

Here are some tips from Schwartz to help baby boomers get back into the dating game following divorce:

  1. Don’t focus on your family.

    A first date is a bit like a job interview, and you need to focus on getting to know your date and making sure that person gets to know you as a person, not as a mom, grandmother, sister or ex-wife.

  2. Don’t treat your date like your doctor.

    A first meeting should be an enjoyable chance to share discoveries and dreams – not an opportunity to unload your deepest, darkes.t challenges, aches and pains.

  3. It’s a date, not a mortgage meeting.

    Money should never come up on a first date. Whether you have complaints about the raw deal you got in the divorce settlement or can brag about how you’re “fixed for life,” it’s best to keep those topics off limits.

  4. Leave your romantic past in the past.

    Revealing bitterness or anger about your ex is especially off-putting and can cast a toxic cloud over the whole meeting.

  5. Don’t flirt too much – or too little.

    A little show of attraction is essential. That little twinkle in your eye could make a date perk up.

    At least at first, flirting should be subtle – holding eye contact, smiling, leaning in a little, speaking softly and brushing your date’s hand. It’s an exchange of looks, chemistry and letting the other person know you’re feeling something.