Marilyn Hagerty, Grand Forks Herald , Published June 17 2012
Marilyn Hagerty: Please don’t smash my hamburger buns, grapes
As a rule, I’m a fairly calm person. I buy my groceries and take them home in the trunk of my car. When you ask “Paper or plastic?” I always try to answer in a voice loud enough for you to hear.
When you ask if I need help getting my groceries to the car, I always tell you I can handle them myself. I don’t mind pushing them out to the car in the cart.
Usually, I take time to put the cart in those stalls you have for them in the parking lot.
You may wonder why I am writing you now if I have done it before. I should probably explain. I got home one day and when I opened the trunk of the car and lifted out an overloaded bag, it split wide open. Two cans of Campbell’s soup, four cans of beans and a plastic bottle of vinegar went rolling down the driveway.
Now, how on earth would you think one thin little bag could hold all that weight? Wouldn’t you think it would take a double bag or maybe even a paper bag? I don’t mean to be a smart aleck when I sometimes reply “both” to your question about paper or plastic.
I know, I know. I maybe shouldn’t complain. There are lots of places in this land of ours when they wouldn’t bag the groceries, much less carry them out to the car. I am grateful to live in these Grand Cities where people still offer help.
All I ask is: Please don’t squeeze my tomatoes. Please don’t bruise my apples. Some of them are almost a dollar apiece. Please don’t let a can dent my bananas. They lose their appeal when they are marred. Please don’t let a box of Cascade gouge my ground beef.
And if it isn’t too much to ask, could you try to gather into one bag the items that need refrigeration? That’s important now with the hot weather. Then maybe you could put the produce in another bag. It makes it so much easier when you get the groceries home. And it’s nice to group the milk, eggs and ice cream so they can cuddle together to stay cool. The frozen pizza likes being with them.
I know your job must be trying. You have customers who don’t listen when you ask about paper or plastic. You have people who forget where they parked their cars. You have people who are befuddled, even grouchy.
You may not buy groceries yourself, BP, but if you notice how much money shoppers lay out when they reach the counter, you can understand why some of us are so protective. When you pay $1 for a lime or $1.99 for a bunch of celery, you want to get them home in good shape. You don’t want your bread mangled or your cookies reduced to crumbs.
So, please don’t squeeze my strawberries. Don’t bruise my cantaloupe. Don’t squash my hamburger buns. And I’ll try to be agreeable when I come back to your store next week.
Signed: Tall lady with coupons who forgets where she left her car.
P.S. Please don’t rush me when I finish paying. I’ll try to stand aside. But I need time to put my credit card away and check my receipt. I am sorry to be slow, but if you don’t catch an error in the store it’s a big pain to drive back.
P.P.S. Most of you BPs are great. It’s only now and then that a bag splits or my grapes get crushed.