Amy Eisinger, WeddingChannel.com (MCT), Published February 29 2012
Top eight rudest engagement questions (and how to respond)There will always be a few who try to ruin the fun. Check out our best sweet (and snarky) responses to the rudest engagement questions ever.
1. “You’re not planning to wear white, are you?”
News flash: Wearing white to your wedding is a purely personal choice – and more often than not, a fashion-related one. Lots of brides feel they look better in ivory or a soft candlelight white simply because of their natural skin tone.
Take the high road: “I haven’t picked out my dress yet, but I’ll be looking for one that complements my skin tone and matches the formality of the venue.”
Go ahead, be snarky: “Of course! You did, right?”
2. (Looking at ring) “Well, I guess we’re in a recession, right?”
Ring envy much? If your frenemy is single, with a comment like that, you might now know the reason. And if she’s materialistic enough to size up her own ring to yours, we suggest not taking her opinion too seriously.
Take the high road: “I love my engagement ring – it’s exactly what I wanted. Besides, we’re also saving up for (our honeymoon, a house, a new car) and decided to devote extra money to that.”
Go ahead, be snarky: “He doesn’t feel the need to overcompensate for anything.”
3. “But why? You already live together.”
Despite what your friend thinks, marriage doesn’t have to be about simply moving in together. It’s about making a commitment, plus any other myriad of personal meanings a wedding can have.
Take the high road: “We’ve always felt marriage was important, even though we moved in together first. We just wanted to wait until the time was right.”
Go ahead, be snarky: “I know, but we simply couldn’t stand living as heathens any longer.”
4. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
We hear this question pretty frequently, and really, it’s often a projection of the questioner’s own fears about commitment and lifelong relationships.
Take the high road: “We’ve been talking about getting married for several months now and realize it’s the right step for us. We’re both ready and pretty excited about it.”
Go ahead, be snarky: “Well, not entirely. But I really want to try on the poufy white dresses.”
. “He only took you out to dinner? How boring.”
Clearly, this misguided person thinks that over-the-top flash mobs or Jumbotron proposals are the only way of expressing sincere love. But some of the most romantic proposal stories happen when no one else is around.
Take the high road: “We’re a pretty traditional couple, and really, it was just the way I wanted – over a very romantic candlelit dinner at our favorite restaurant.”
Go ahead, be snarky: “Well, originally he thought about taking out a 30-second commercial during the Super Bowl and proposing live on TV, but then he didn’t want to wait until February.”
6. “Wow, quick engagement. Is it a shotgun wedding?”
Whether it’s a reflection of your friend’s dissatisfaction with her boyfriend who just won’t ask, or genuine surprise that came out the wrong way, implying that you’re only getting hitched because of an unexpected pregnancy is a big faux pas.
Take the high road: “No. When you know, you just know!”
Go ahead, be snarky: “Not yet – but there’s still time to hope!”
7. “Who’s going to pay for it?”
Maybe your nosy guest is just impressed by all of the cool details you’ve mentioned, or they’re wondering if your parents will be footing the bill instead of you. Regardless, asking about money is one of the worst etiquette no-nos.
Take the high road: “My fiance and I are still working out the financials for the wedding, but it’s a personal matter between us.”
Go ahead, be snarky: “Oh, we’re crowd-sourcing it. You’ll contribute $10, right?”
8. “This won’t last.”
Ah, jealousy. It’s never pretty. Whether your friend is thinking of a past relationship gone sour or just upset because she still hasn’t found “the one,” this comment isn’t really about you.
Take the high road: “Hmm … Well, we think it will. That’s why we’re getting married.”
Go ahead, be snarky: “We’re pretty sure it’ll be longer than your last diet.”