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John Lamb, Published January 03 2012

Lamb’s new year’s resolution: Aim low in 2012

As New Year’s approached, articles popped up with self-helpers offering advice on how to make our resolutions stick.

The most popular suggestion was to avoid making unattainable goals, keep expectations within reach.

Why aim high in 2012? I’m not running for office. I’m not trying to impress anyone.

No, sir. Setting my goals low is my motto for 2012. And this is how I’m going to feel better about myself by doing it.

<•> Watch the Netflix movie I’ve had for five months. I don’t remember why I wanted to watch “Hunger,” a movie about the IRA’s 1981 hunger strikes, but it’s been staring at me for months. It just doesn’t seem so cheery. Kind of like watching “Grizzly Man” before going camping. Maybe watching a dramatization of Bobby Sands’ martyrdom will satisfy my guilty feelings that I should start a diet.

<•> This year I’ll come up with something great to give up for Lent. Like maybe my giving up new year’s resolution.

<•> No more smoking. Actually, I don’t smoke, so this one is really easy. But when people see how I’ve attained this resolution on the fourth day of the year, I will be a model example for those friends of mine who are having a harder time quitting because they actually do/did smoke. They can thank me later.

<•> Seven years ago, I quit drinking Budweiser, started walking a lot more, doing yoga and ended up losing a lot of weight. Maybe it’s time to revisit one of these. Yeah, this is the year I start drinking Bud Heavy again.

<•> De-cluttering is a big one for people, so maybe I’ll go through my closet and pare down my flannels to just the essential 17 that I really need.

<•> This is the year I finally read more. I like reading but often regret not spending more time doing it. Or maybe I’ll just finish all of the books I started and set aside along the way. Ugh, I guess this means I should dig out my copy of “To the Lighthouse.” Maybe I could just read the classic comic. Virginia Woolf sure sounds like a cool comic name, kind of like the sexy mother to wild child Megan Fox.

<•> Learn exactly who Pippa Middleton is, what she does and why I should care.

Oh, wait. Now I get it.

<•> Figure out a way to let Pippa Middleton know who I am and why she should care.

OK, that last one was a bit ambitious for a low goal, but a guy has to have something to reach for.

Or not.


Readers can reach Forum reporter John Lamb at (701) 241-5533