Michelle Turnberg, Published November 04 2011
Turnberg: It’s time for some new rules for marriage
I gave the Humpdashian marriage a year. Turns out it only lasted 72 days.
It had been 10 weeks since their extravagant, made-for-TV wedding (the actual two-part wedding episode may still be airing). Now reality starlet Kim Kardashian says she wants out from her union with NBA player Kris Humphries.
They met about a year ago and dated for a few months. He proposed with a 20.5 carat ring, they had a bazillion-dollar wedding and now, 10 weeks after saying “I do” they are saying “I don’t want to anymore.”
“I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision,” the “Keeping up with the Kardashians” star said. “I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned.”
Humphries has said he was “devastated” to learn his bride had filed for divorce.
He may very well be devastated, but I hope not surprised.
This whole fiasco exhausts me, and I don’t even watch the show. I’ve caught bits and pieces of it because it is on EVERY time I turn the channel. I once heard Kris make a suggestion about the wedding ceremony to Kim. She and her mother both gasped and she said, “But I have been planning my dream wedding since I was a little girl!” Ugh. This should be called “fantasy TV,” not “reality TV.”
Here is my proposal on how marriages should be conducted:
- Instead of spending two months’ salary on a ring, money equal to that amount should be required for a marriage license. A quick Yahoo search shows Kim makes about $12 million a year. Humphries makes about $1.7 million a year … so they would have to pay $2,284,000 for their marriage license. That’s two months’ salary for both of them.
- The engagement/wedding ring must be a simple band.
- Instead of a lavish ceremony, people would simply sign a document at the courthouse. No party, no dress, no dance. Sign the document and you’re done.
Couples who get divorced forfeit their marriage license money. Those who stay married 10 years can have the “party” to celebrate their union. They get their money back plus interest, minus a small courthouse fee. The money can be spent on the “wedding,” a fancy diamond ring, and a reception. Children could join in the fun and witness how great it is to work at something and celebrate success.
Do you think there would have been a “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event” had there not been a lavish payoff? And what about Kris? Wasn’t this his wedding, too?
I’ve got to believe that if people were more concerned with the marriage than the ceremony, the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high. I am divorced, so I know how hard marriage can be. It is not something to be entered into lightly.
Why didn’t I think up this idea 11 years ago? Now if I could just land a reality show …