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John Lamb, Published July 02 2011

Lamb: ‘Bombs’ target glitterati

As adults carefully shop for the least-maimable fireworks to be used around children this Fourth of July, one particularly colorful explosive device has grabbed headlines: The glitter bomb.

While the ominous name could be a short, yet apt, review of Mariah Carey’s 2001 film “Glitter,” it’s actually the summer’s hottest form of frivolous political protest – done by simply unloading a collection of glitter on unsuspecting targets.

In the past few weeks, Republican presidential hopefuls Tim Pawlenty and Michele Bachmann both absorbed shimmering blowback.

It all started in May when fellow GOP Presidential wannabe Newt Gingrich was showered in Minnesota with sparkles while protesters yelled “Stop the hate!” and “Feel the rainbow!”

Disruptive? Yes, but not as memorable as if the protesters shouted, “Feel the hate!” or “Stop the rainbow!” And nowhere near as alarming if they’d shouted “Stop the feel!” and “Hate the rainbow!”

And talk about Minnesota-not-so-nice. Getting de-glittered can take awhile. I mistakenly asked an exceptionally sparkly co-worker if she’d been glitter-bombed. A sour stare and stern lecture later, I understood she’d experimented with a new makeup days earlier and was ready to use a fire hose for a complete clean.

While the confetti-tossing comic Rip Taylor was a natural prime suspect, the real culprits have been protesters upset about political candidates’ anti-gay stances.

But high-profile pranks like this attract attention and likely some copy-cat attacks.

And it’s not just a politician’s peril. Gingrich and Pawlenty both got bombed at their respective book signings, putting all authors on the reading circuit on high alert.

I hope former North Dakota Gov. George Sinner doesn’t face the same fate as he promotes his memoir, “Turning Points.”

Then again, “Bud” writes about the time he punched an annoying legislator who was bothering him at the governor’s home, so I think he could handle himself.

I’d hate to see Sen. John Hoeven get glitter-blasted, though that would give him the sparkliest ’stache in the Senate.

And that goes double for Denny Walaker. You’d have to take a vacuum to the Fargo mayor’s beard to remove all the shimmering shards. But I don’t imagine it would faze him much.

Though, a little sparkle could spark an exciting makeover if Walaker ever wants a higher office and seeks the young vote.

Dreamy Denny in 2012.

I’d take a shine to that.

Readers can reach Forum reporter John Lamb at (701) 241-5533