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Bob Lind, Published January 04 2011

Lind: There are some perks to getting older

Cheer up, those of you who are closing in on “senior citizen” status: You have some perks.

So says Doug Tweed of Fargo, who found this list on the Internet and forwarded it to Neighbors.

If you’re about to hit that advanced age bracket, these are some positives to consider:

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run – anywhere.

4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 p.m.

9. When you think you’re losing it, it’s not necessarily your car keys.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National

Weather Service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them, either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19. You won’t be able to remember where you read this list.

20. But now, a warning: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If you have an item of interest for this column, mail it to Neighbors, The Forum, Box 2020, Fargo, ND 58107; fax it to 241-5487; or e-mail blind@forumcomm.com