John Lamb, Published December 18 2010
Lamb: Giving gift of a LifetimeSometime the best gift is simply receiving it.
For example, my neighbor at work, Tammy Swift, looks at me at least once a week and says, “I have a great idea for a column for you.”
At that point I know it’s probably not an idea I want to follow through with.
In all fairness, her ideas aren’t necessarily bad, just not things I get excited about because the unifying theme has me doing things I don’t want to do.
“You and I should go around town wearing Snuggies,” she’d say. I’d explain that we bicker enough at work that people think we’re married and going out on the town dressed alike wouldn’t help change that impression.
“You should wear Spanx for men and write about that,” she’s said more than once, referring to the male girdle – though the ads apply a more macho spin, calling it a “physique-improving, game-changing” compression T-shirt.
Someone more self-conscious might shoot back, “Are you trying to
say I’m fat?” But I am so comfortable with my appearance that I just wrapped myself in another Snuggie and noshed on candied bacon.
So when she suggested I spend a week watching the Christmas specials on Lifetime TV, my initial reaction was to pull that Snuggie over my head.
But then I thought, “Well, it is the Christmas season, and Tammy is so hard to shop for.”
So here, wrapped up with a pretty bow, is what I learned from my week watching “Wifetime.”
- Known mostly for shows that depict women being stalked or getting divorced or stalking their divorcees – movies with titles like “She Said No” – Lifetime turns up a softer, fuzzy collar this time of year with endless seasonal wedding movies. Today alone the network airs “Will You Merry Me,” “A Very Merry Daughter of the Bride,” “A Christmas Wedding” and “A Christmas Proposal.” Maybe they role out the scorned lover series on New Year’s Day.
- If there is indeed a “war on Christmas,” Lifetime is an impenetrable fortress. It’s all Christmas, all the time, from “A Diva’s Christmas Carol” to “The Christmas Blessing,” and not a lowly “happy holidays” or a pagan “season’s greetings” in sight. I must have missed “She Said No … to Political Correctness.”
- Lifetime is where “Beverly Hills, 90210” stars shine, particularly this time of year. Luke Perry and Jason Perry (“A Very Merry Daughter of the Bride”), Jennie Garth (“Secret Santa”) and Gabrielle Carteris (“Deck the Halls”) are all featured. Fitting, though, that bad girl Shannen Doherty’s “Christmas Caper” would be on rival network ABC Family. She’s such a diva.
Actually, ABC Family has all the ’90s hotties. Not only Doherty, but also Tori Spelling’s “A Carol Christmas” and Jenny McCarthy’s “Santa Baby” and “Santa Baby 2.”
I hope Tammy suggests I watch and write about that network’s “25 Days of Christmas” lineup next year. That would be a great gift for her.
Maybe she is easy to shop for after all.
Readers can reach Forum columnist John Lamb at (701) 241-5533