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Published June 11 2010

Morast: Glambert doesn’t talk about his music

I still don’t understand the appeal of Adam Lambert.

Sure, he’s tied to the “American Idol” fame game. Yes, the openly gay singer is fabulous in a manner that straight men can’t comprehend. And, of course, his controversial kiss with a male dancer during last year’s American Music Awards was full of awesome shock appeal.

But despite his genuine charisma and dramatic appeal, the guy’s music sounds like it was made from the beats and lyrics Britney Spears’ producers threw in the Dumpster.

It’s boring. Which is sad, because Glambert – as he’s known – has a presence and vocal shriek rock stars sell their souls for.

It’s also too bad because as a confident and openly gay man, Lambert has a chance to be a positive role model for an often forgotten segment of our society.

Basically, the guy just needs to ditch the over-produced pop schlock and rock out more. It’s something I would have asked the singer had we connected for an interview to preview his appearance at the Shooting Star Casino tonight.

That didn’t happen, so using the content slot machine that is Google, I patched together an imaginary interview with Lambert using his responses given in various interviews from the past few months. Here’s what he didn’t really say:

Mr. Glambert, I’ve always thought you kind of looked like a young Elvis in drag. Is that a look you were going for?

It’s very flattering. I don’t think of myself like that, so that’s crazy.

You’re from Indianapolis. I spent some time there in the early 2000s during a couple “Star Wars” conventions, and I have to say your shtick really reminds me of the two break-dancing Boba Fetts I saw. That was you, wasn’t it?

I went wild, and I was experimenting with certain substances. It didn’t get to the stage where it ruined my life or where it was anything too serious, but it was definitely something I tried.

On that note, I can’t watch you perform without thinking you’re Freddie Mercury’s love child. How influential was the Queen frontman to you?

People like David Bowie and Freddie Mercury are my major influences as a vocalist and as a front man, in addition to people like Prince and Michael Jackson, of course.

So why didn’t you take a more rocking approach on your debut record?

I don’t know. Maybe it went to my head, and that’s why I did the performance the way I did.

There’s a LGBT film festival at the Fargo Theatre this weekend. Any chance we’ll see you make an impromptu appearance?

I don’t have any specific plans yet and am going to play it by ear ... I hope to spend it with the people I love: my friends and family.

If you did show up to the film fest in Fargo, or anywhere, do you think the gay community would embrace you, or do they tire of your over-the-topness?

At first I didn’t know if the gay community was really into this or not – what I’m doing. And then slowly but surely, I was traveling internationally and domestically and met a lot of gay men and women who were really excited about what’s going on with my record and what I’m doing, and it feels really nice for my community to acknowledge it.

Speaking of gay guys, Ricky Martin recently came out of the closet. And Barney Frank is making waves in D.C. Would you go for either of them?

Ew. Neither one of them is my type at all. They’re both too old for me. I like pretty boys in their early to mid-20s. Make sure you print that.

It sounds like you won’t be making out with dudes on stage during your tour, but what can we expect from your casino gig tonight?

It’s going to be really theatrical and sparkly. You’ll have to come. Maybe I’ll make out with a snake.

If you go

Readers can reach Forum Features Editor Robert Morast at (701) 241-5518 or rmorast@forumcomm.com