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Published February 07 2010

Swift: Swift parallels go beyond a moniker

I’ll never forget this one time interviewing a woman for a story.

At one point during the interview, she turned to her grade-school-aged daughter and said: “This is Tammy Swift. She writes an article for The Forum.”

Her little daughter looked as if she’d just learned Zac Efron had joined the witness protection program. “A writer?” she said, obviously crestfallen. “I thought she was Taylor Swift’s mom.”

Oh, how I wish.

As I watch the golden-haired Miss Swift bring home the latest statue for her massive trophy collection, I can’t help but think: Wouldn’t it be cool if Taylor actually were my daughter?

I could retire and rest on my parental laurels. I could give interviews to entertainment magazines about where I thought Lindsey Lohan’s and Britney Spears’ parents went wrong. I could smile modestly and say: “Why, yes, the musical part does come from my side of the family. So does the curly hair.”

In fact, I’m not entirely convinced that we aren’t related. There’s the aforementioned curly locks. I, too, was an anguished teen girl. Taylor dropped her Grammy; I once dropped a box of glass ketchup bottles down the basement steps.

Obviously, we were separated at birth. (Granted, I was a tad premature.) Still not convinced? Consider the evidence. Decades before Taylor made her mark on the world, I was building quite a following for the Swift name myself. Just look at the eerie parallels in our lives so far.

See?

We’re practically the same person.

Just call me Taylor Sr.


Readers can reach Forum reporter Tammy Swift at (701) 241-5525 or tswift@forumcomm.com