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Mike Butler, Published August 23 2009

The ‘black helicopter’ honorees …

This year’s winner for the “Black Helicopter Oscar” goes to “death panels,” Sarah Palin producer. Formally known as The Tin Foils, past winners honored were “water fluoridation.” You can’t taste the brain wash. “President Clinton is coming to take our guns!” I still have mine. And all-time champ, “Iraq has WMDs!” Where was the “tea party” rage on that trillion-dollar flush? One can’t miss what they never had. Take away what one has? Different story.

So do a GoogleTomorrow search for these future black helicopters:

Aug. 31, 2011 (UPI 2.0). “Health Care Fails. Obama Terminates Medicare.” A bitter Secretary Oprah Winfrey of the renamed Department of NoHealth and InHuman Services declared, “If socialized medicine is only good for just some, then nobody gets it. It’s just un-American ... So pony up!” Cletus Hatfield of Backwater, W.Va., said, “Good. I wanted to pay more anyway.” Hatfield’s neighbor, Clem McCoy, wanted to disagree, but didn’t. However, the other 38 million affected by their take-away all fainted in unison. Their collective ‘thunk’ resulted in California dropping into the sea.

May 20, 2012 (Business Weak). Citing skyrocketing health care costs, “Plans for Nevada’s Pacific Coast retirement communities abandoned.” Disappointed investor Palin whined, “I guess that all-for-one and one-for-all Medicare thingy worked pretty good at that, then there, huh?”

Feb. 18, 2013 (Huffn’Puff.com). “President Mark Sanford privatizes military” saying, “There’s nothing in the Constitution that says it can’t make a profit.” Our first lady of Appalachia, Argentina will oversee the transition to Blackwater Inc. Asked how this will affect the VA, Sanford asked back, “Does it make a profit?”

The next day (Fox Skews). “Glorious leader VP Palin assumes presidency after failed military coup.” In a terse acceptance speech she bragged, “Thank Jesus I had my secret black helicopter fleet ready.”

2014 1/2 (MSNBCLies.com). “Palin Resigns.” Sensing a shift from those wanting their socialist-loving government health care plans back, remorseful Democrats now support Medicare’s revival. But only if “death panels” are part of the final bill. Senate Minority Leader Al Franken spewed, “If we hold out long enough, we’ll get all those useless grannies permanently ‘retired.’ ”

Of course these are just big lies. But it’s sure sad that some are naive enough to believe that one big lie. So don’t forget Palin’s immortal words on her ‘I quit’ day: “So. How ’bout, in honor of the American soldier, ya’ quit makin’ things up.” (Apparently our troops are honored by anybody not “lying” about her. Stunningly self-absorbed and diva centric.) But of course “death panels” don’t apply because she crossed her fingers.

Paul Krugman fired a good shot at the Church of Palintology by writing, “All that stands in the way of universal health care is greed, lies and gullibility.” I hope it’s a hit.